My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
