put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
