so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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