I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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