$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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