I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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