dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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