I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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