shes about as inviting as chlamydia
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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