i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I want to make a zoo with you.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
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