I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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