great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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