So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
