I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
