That's when you crack a 10am beer
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
