Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
