so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
