2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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