i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
