office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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