So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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