It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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