This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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