How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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