soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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