I could have mohawked her pubes.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
