Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
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