Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
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