I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Randomize
