I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
