I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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