so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
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