I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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