Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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