2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
