Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize