Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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