I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Randomize
