The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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