We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
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