She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
