The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
