I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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