Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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