end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
so let's talk penis.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Someone stole a lamp last night.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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