Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
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