matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize