I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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