Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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