ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
my poor anus
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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