sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
what day is it and did you see me today?
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
