I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
They have beer where we have blood.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
