He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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