I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
