just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
