I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." π ππ·
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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