Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
