Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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