i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
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