I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
