Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
