just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
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