My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
i think my cat just said my name.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
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