I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize