Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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