yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
