So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
